Carol appointed as Coach to Team Britton

News that Team Britton has appointed the wife and mother of team members as Team Coach has taken the world of Cycling by storm with mixed reaction from top sporting personalities. Sources close to Sven report that he had hoped to be approached for this high-profile job and is gutted at being pipped to the post with accusations of nepotism flying around. Multi-talented Clive Woodward is also disappointed that his transferrable skills have not been sought.
However, it is understood that despite the likely six-figure weekly pay cheque Carol is likely to receive this is an appointment that is no pushover with a highly temperamental squad whose dissolute lifestyles need to be brought under control. Expect several pub closures in the North London and South Herts area as curfews are imposed on the squad. On a more positive note seven times Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong commented that he expects Carol to be an outstanding addition to the team "a unique knowledge of this talented team is likely to ensure they are at the start in great shape and on time". A surprised representative of the British Olympic Committee cast doubt on the truth of reports of the appointment "This is the first I have heard of it: Team Britain has a host of coaches already".

STOP PRESS: it emerges that Carol is merely going to bus the team to the start.